


Anyone Who Knows What Love Is (Will Understand)

by pinklights



Category: Marvel 616, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Comfort, Domestic Bliss, F/M, Fluff, I Don't Even Know, Idiots in Love, Just two lovers in love basically, Marvel 616/MCU Crossover, More tags later, Practically married, Rating May Change, Romance, Slice of Life, Slowly Paced, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, mentions of past trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-22
Updated: 2019-08-25
Packaged: 2020-09-23 23:51:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20348872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinklights/pseuds/pinklights
Summary: Bucky Barnes and Natasha Romanoff have been living together for a while now. They go to parties together, are each other's emergency contacts, and are raising two cats. They are each other's homes. This is a peek into their lives.





	1. Rose

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, everyone! As I continue to try and break my writer's block, I created this. It was supposed to be just a collection of one-shots but I've decided to make all entries exist in the same universe, which is just a general Marvel universe. Some things will be taken from comics and others from the MCU.
> 
> As always, I love hearing your comments and kudos are always appreciated <3

“You look beautiful.”

James was sat on their bed, one sock on, the other in his hand as he stared at her with his mouth agape. Natasha had just finished putting on her makeup and she was only in her slip, hardly anything he hasn’t seen before, but the wonder in his eyes made her blush anyway. She stopped wondering when the butterflies would leave her a year into their relationship. These days, the flutter in her stomach just felt like the norm. 

"Save that look for after the party, sweetheart. If we don't leave in fifteen minutes, we're going to miss Pepper's opening remarks." 

James didn't want to go; being around a lot of people was something he still wasn't used to and it made him nervous but Natasha assured him that it was going to be fun. Stark Industries was celebrating their 80-year anniversary and it was apparently a big deal, at least that's what Tony said. He insisted that the whole team came for this 'celebration of life'. 

Natasha slipped into their shared walk-in closet and started slipping an emerald green floor-length gown on herself. She was just about to reach for her zipper when James came behind her to zip it up himself. He placed a kiss on her shoulder where her skin was exposed and dragged his nose up against her neck, breathing her in. 

"We can be late." His breath tickled her ear and she smiled as his hands reached around her, resting on her stomach. 

"We already spent too much time in the shower." Still, she leaned against his chest and looked at their reflection in the mirror. He should look ridiculous, standing there in boxer briefs and socks, but staring at him made her want to reconsider their attendance, too. "Besides, I want to see you in your new suit. If you don't put it on now how am I supposed to take it off later?" 

He groaned against her hair then. "You're a despicable woman." Letting her go seemed like such a chore but he went to his side of the closet and started getting dressed for real this time while Natasha chose her accessories—gold earrings but not too flashy, a variation of her bites in the same finish (because you never really know during these things), a knife strapped on her thigh (just in case), and a ruby-encrusted barrette to clip onto her hair (James' gift last Christmas).

James fumbled with his bowtie just as she slipped into her shoes, the double chin looking extra frustrated as he clumsily worked on it. She reached for him and smiled as she fixed it. 

"I used to be so much better at these things, you know." 

She nodded, she knew. His stories painted such a vivid picture of his past life in her mind that she was sure she remembered his life better than she did her own.

In a matter of seconds, his tie was in place and he looked ravishing. He was hesitant when she picked the deep burgundy suit for him since he usually only wore black to these things but she was glad he trusted her. She saw this suit on Ryan Gosling once and thought James could wear it better. He had broader shoulders and fuller arms; she inspected them and smiled to herself. He cleaned up nicely. 

"My handsome man," she reached for the nape of his neck and kissed him softly as to not disturb the lipstick she already had on. A bit of it transferred onto him and she quickly wiped it away. 

"You keep looking at me like that and I might not be able to practice any restraint, Natalia." His hands attempted to circle her waist again but she slipped away from his grasp, tossing him a mischievous look. "_Despicable_." 

"If you behave, maybe can _ pre-game _ at the party." 

She heard him groan as she turned back to her side of the closet to pick out a nice clutch to carry her essentials—phone, cards, lipstick, a Glock 26.

James smoothed out his hair and put on his perfume. She caught him slipping a knife into his boot just before they headed for the door. The two of them were deposited at a hotel by the town car Tony hired for everyone (to make sure they came) and the pair walked hand into the grand ballroom where everyone was, slipping through a crowd of media personnel outside the hotel itself.

Pepper had just gotten onto the stage, a spotlight shining on her when they entered the hall. She looked beautiful in a blue dress, glowing more than usual. Natasha spotted Tony just below the stage to her side, fidgeting with his phone. Odd. It wasn't like him to get nervous about public speaking.

"Over here," a big voice boomed to their right and they spotted Steve waving them down, Sharon by his side. They hurriedly made their way through the crowd as Pepper greeted everyone a good evening. As Natasha made a quick survey of the room, she realized more than half of the people there were Avengers and their plus ones (plus fours for Clint). A couple of others were big Stark Industries people—employees and higher-ups. Some SHIELD personnel was also present, even Fury in his corner with Hill. No media inside the ballroom only the ones they passed outside. _ Odd. _

Pepper spoke about Stark Industries and its roots, its origins. She talked about Howard and Natasha physically felt the man beside her deflate. It was still a subject he wasn't comfortable talking about. As much as he and Tony have gotten past that on the inside, James still carried all of his skeletons on his back. She placed a hand on his knee reassuringly and he took her hand in his. It was these little moments that made their partnership a unique one. They didn't have to talk to communicate, didn't have to communicate out loud to _understand_. 

The crowd applauded at the end of Pepper's speech and that was when Tony hopped onto the stage to stand beside her. The applause grew as he adjusted the microphone. "Thank you, thank you, Miss Potts. I won't keep you from enjoying the festivities tonight so I'll make my part quick. To add to the bit about the future of Stark Industries, Miss Potts and I are expecting a baby. Thank you and have a wonderful night." 

Applause erupted from the crowd as Tony dragged Pepper off stage with him and that's when Natasha spotted the small bump that strained against her dress. It wasn't very obvious when she stood still but when she moved, it caught on the dress. Everyone around them was buzzing with excitement at the news of a baby. It was completely unexpected and out of the blue. They never mentioned wanting a baby even once. 

That explained the select group of people and lack of media presence in the hall at least. When the pair reached their table, they were immediately congratulated. Natasha pulled Pepper into a hug and felt the bump against her. She was further along than she expected. "You're halfway there already?" 

Pepper grinned, glowing with those pregnancy hormones. "Yeah. We've been keeping it a secret for too long. I was running out of things to cover the bump with—wait, how do you know?" 

"Just a hunch. Three months doesn't feel like _ that _, definitely." 

"You're all going to be uncles now so you better watch out," Tony announced to the men on the table. Steve looked like he was in a daze of happiness. It was like he was more excited than Pepper and Tony themselves. 

"No one else but Happy knew because he had to drive me to all of my doctor's appointments," Pepper shared. "I'm so fucking terrified." 

"I'm sure you'll do great, Pepper," James squeezed into their conversation, moving his chair closer to Natasha's after the rest of the guys started placing bets on who the baby would like best. 

"Thanks, Bucky. You look good, clean up nice." 

"Thanks but I don't deserve any credit for any of this," he gestured to himself before placing a hand on Natasha's lap.

"You guys look good. With your genes combined, you'd make one hell of a kid." Then, as if she tripped, Pepper's eyes widened and took Natasha's hands. "Oh my god, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to."

Natasha smiled widely, ignoring the small pang in her chest. "It's fine. I don't mind." She felt James' hand at the small of her back, rubbing circles there. It was fine, _really._ She'd long stopped dreaming of what it would be like to be a woman who could give life, long stopped mourning for the child she had to bury in the middle of the woods in the dead of winter. 

Pepper looked at her with nothing but concern on her face. As much as she tried to hide it, the woman couldn't stop thinking about Natasha's 'situation'. 

"Never wanted kids anyway," James said, attempting to save whatever was left of the conversation—a blatant lie he took for the team for her sake. "They're too loud, throw up all over the place."

That seemed to have distracted Pepper enough from her pitying Natasha and she smiled, nodding along, agreeing that kids were disgusting. She excused herself after she spotted a person from Stark Industries and hurried along to escape the awkward death of their interaction. 

Dinner was served soon and Natasha's already finished three glasses of wine when dessert came out. She had a high alcohol tolerance, sure, but she was convinced that if she had enough drinks for the night that it would hide whatever tinge of pain she felt in her chest while she watched James lift one of Clint's kids up with his bionic arm. 

He wanted kids. She knew this because when they visited Rebecca at the nursing home during the holidays, she shared that James has always wanted a big family just like she did. All over her room were photographs of her descendants, scattered like windows into memories she couldn't hold onto by herself. 

The man in the burgundy suit disappeared from her line of sight after she flagged down a waiter for another glass of wine, only for him to appear by her side, a welcomed warmth. He leaned down to her and presented his hand. "How about a dance, lady?" 

Natasha couldn't hide the smile that spread across her face as she slipped her hand in his. She let him lead her to the middle of the dance floor and hold her against him. She didn’t know that it was possible to feel this safe in the arms of another person, that it was possible to be loved completely. Their friends would tease her about taming him, about turning the widely feared Winter Soldier into a puppy dog, but they didn’t know how beautiful it was to be loved by him. She’s only trying to keep up.

“What’s going on in that beautiful brain of yours?” 

She pulled back from him a bit and smiled, shaking her head. “It’s nothing that important.”

“Nice try.” He pressed his lips on her forehead before finding her eyes again. How could she lie to a face like that? 

“Do you really not want kids?”

She could tell he was surprised with the question by the way his brows shot up. "Hmm…" The pause was enough of an answer for her. She didn't know why she even bothered to ask.

"Back in the day I always thought it'd be nice to have a couple," he smiled, crow's feet adorning the sides of his eyes. "But things have happened between then and now and _now_ I'm not really sure." 

Natasha nodded, "Oh."

He tightened his grip on her, as if afraid she'd slip away. A gloved left hand came up to cup her cheek, his smile steady. "We don't need kids. They're disgusting." 

She tried to mirror his smile but it didn't quite reach her eyes. In the distance, she could hear the Barton kids giggling and running around, playing with Scott's daughter. 

"Hey." He pressed his forehead against hers and rubbed their noses together. The butterflies were back, the anxiety subsiding a bit. "I love you. We don't need kids to be a family. I think two cats are enough trouble for one household." 

How did he know exactly what to say to calm her down? Natasha smiled and pressed their lips together, kissing him softly as if to say that she loved him too, because she did. She doesn't think she's loved anyone this much in her entire life. 


	2. Work

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Bucky goes on a mission without Natasha and misses her terribly.

Bucky Barnes wasn't invincible but that didn't stop him from running headfirst into a sea of bullets if it meant getting people out of harm's way and in his line of work, a sea of bullets happened once or twice a week. This was his life now and he's accepted it, plunged into it desperately to atone for his sins.

He'd been trailing a Hydra scientist for weeks now, learning his routine, figuring out what made him ask SHIELD to take him out, if it was just a trap. From what Bucky found, he worked ten hours a day and lived alone in a swanky apartment in downtown Washington DC. He hasn't been there since the incident with the helicarrier which felt like a whole lifetime ago.

During his days off, the scientist would hang out with his girlfriend, Marcie, at her uptown loft. From the looks of it, she wasn't connected to Hydra. Sharon ran her background as well and it turned up clean.  On his thirteenth day, Bucky slipped into the diner booth across from the scientist while he was having his breakfast, hands concealed with gloves as he rested them on the table between them. 

The doctor seemed alarmed but he didn't flee, which was good. "Dr. Schultz. I believe you've asked for assistance." 

"Looks like the diner's clear," Sharon spoke into the comms. She was by the bar area having coffee, a random face during the breakfast rush. 

"Winter Soldier," he gasped adjusting his glasses "So it's true… you made it out." 

Bucky was surprised with the recognition, unaware that low-level Hydra personnel would even know about him. Then again, his name has been on national television a handful of times now. "And you will, too, if you cooperate. Meet me here at midnight with a bag of personal belongings. By the time the sun rises, you'll be tucked away in a safe town with a new identity." 

The doctor nodded and Sharon slipped off of her barstool, headed out of the door just a few steps before he did. They met at a different rendezvous place to debrief and run by their plans once again. They were going to take Robert Schultz from Hydra and place him in a suburban town somewhere in the midwest. It sounded like an easy plan, simple, he'll be home and in bed with Natasha and the cats in no time. 

By the time midnight came, Bucky arrived at the diner to find it almost empty. That was to be expected, but the good doctor wasn't there either. He sat in the booth they occupied earlier and ordered a coffee for the time being. Sharon was just around the corner with the car, engine ready to leave as soon as their Dr. Schultz got there. They knew this was going to be risky. Hydra has been operating on the down-low but they've also upped their security. Dr. Schultz was a foot soldier, yes, but he was also a biochemist who worked on substances that could be used for warfare. He wasn't the most useless of their men. 

"Winter Soldier." The doctor slipped in the booth across from Bucky exactly seven minutes after the designated time. 

He took a sip of his coffee and threw a couple of dollars on the table, his own patience running out. Bucky might have been some reformed hero but he was still human. "Let's go. The car's waiting." 

Bucky stood from his seat and walked towards the door but aside from standing, the doctor didn't move. "Soldier, I—" 

"Doctor Schultz, we're leaving now." 

The doctor was sweating profusely, his hands at his sides. That's when Bucky noticed that he hadn't brought a bag with him as he instructed. He wasn't sweating because he ran there, he was sweating because he's nervous. 

"What did you do?" 

"I'm sorry— they were going to kill Marcie— I can't leave her and you— They said I'd be rewarded handsomely for you—" 

"Sharon, he flipped," Bucky spoke into the comms. He heard an exasperated 'what' from the other end of the line before glass shattered around him, bullets flying everywhere. The waitresses hid behind the bar, the customers near any windows dead. Dr. Schultz was crawling on the floor near where Bucky ducked against a table. Fucking Hydra. 

"They're not going to let you live, Robert," he shouted through the hellfire. 

The man scrambled away from him, turning to look at him before standing up. "No, but Marcie will." Robert started walking along the windows and Bucky tried to get up to his feet to stop him but it was too late. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Five bullets pierced through the doctor's chest. As he lay on the floor dying, a smile crept on his lips. 

"Come out, Soldier." One of the Hydra goons yelled near the window. 

And he did, reaching for the machine gun strapped to his chest and tugging it until the harness broke against him. Bucky was surrounded by the lot of them, firing at him, but he fired back and, man, was he a better shot. He wasn't the Winter Soldier for nothing. 

The comm lines opened again as one of the men charged at him with a knife, which was a mistake for him. Bucky apprehended him, managing to get the knife and driving it into his neck. "Barnes, I'm in the kitchen. I'll try to get the people out through the back. Think you can handle it up front?" 

"Already doing that, Carter," he grunted when he felt another person attack him from the side. Jesus, how many people did they even send? 

Bucky had four people all trying to get him down, one landing a good punch square in his face. What's a fight without a broken nose, right? He returned the favor and crashed a fist against one of their jaws. Another person pulled out a knife (they keep making this mistake) and all Bucky had to do was twist his wrist as far back as he could to snap it before the knife clattered onto the floor. A gun was quickly pulled out and shot at him, but the bullet only bounced against his metal arm.

He could taste the blood coming from his nose as he slammed a Hydra goon onto the floor with a crack.

"I really hate doing this." More of them showed up and that's when Bucky decided that enough was enough. He picked up the machine gun in one hand and the one he kept holstered against him at all times in another and started shooting as they started their assault. 

It was only when he was sitting in the hospital hours later that he discovered that he'd been shot at least two times. The doctors recovered one bullet in his abdomen and cleaned up the wound where a bullet grazed against his flesh arm. Sharon was filling up the paperwork while talking to someone on the phone (probably Steve). 

"He's fine," she explained, flipping a page. "Yes, I'm fine, too. It wasn't a big deal." 

Bucky chuckled and she looked up from the couch. She mouthed 'are you okay?' and he waved her off with his hand. He's been in worse conditions. Just the other month, his head was almost severed off. He reached for his phone to check for messages. The last one had been from Natasha earlier that evening. (The only messages he got that mattered were from her.)

_ 7:04pm _

**B:** Gotta extract this doc real quick and I'll be right there. 

**N:** Good. Should I wait? 

**B:** Nah, I'll be back in the morning.

**N:** Don't get yourself killed.

_ 11:56pm _

**N:** Can you stop by a store? We're out of eggs.

**N:** I can make you breakfast in bed ;-) 

Bucky smiled and put the phone away just as Sharon rose from her seat, papers finished and her own phone call done. She managed to get most of the people out of the diner though none of them were really targets. It was an ambush. Hydra wanted their toy back. 

"Did you tell Nat that you're going home looking like that?" 

"It's a surprise," he grinned but winced all the same, tasting blood in his mouth again as he reopened his busted lip. 

Sharon shook her head but smiled anyway. "The chopper's gonna be here in an hour. You should rest." 

When Bucky pushed through the door of their apartment, a black blur on the floor greeted him with a loud meow. He shushed the cat and crouched down to scoop her up, wincing at the pain from his recent bullet wounds. Super soldier serum or not, those things still hurt. He toed off his boots and set his bag near the entryway before moving quietly through the apartment in the dark, making sure that he didn't disturb Natasha's sleep. He set the cat down in the bedroom and started taking his clothes off, eyes taking in details of the room--accent chairs, house plants, Natasha's packages on the floor near the closet, Natasha bundled up in bed with a while ball of fur sleeping near her feet. All he wanted to do was to slip into the bed as well and sleep for the next two days but he knew she wouldn't appreciate him smelling like work.

Bucky took a hot shower, humming at the way the pressure hit his skin just right. At the back of his mind, he knew he had to tell her that he was (kind of) compromised. They'd done a good job concealing his work for SHIELD so far but it was only a matter of time before Hydra figured out where he was. He was their prized possession, invested so much into their Asset that they stopped trying to make another one after a batch of them malfunctioned. He'll tell her the next day, he decided as he was brushing his teeth. He'll tell her after taking her out for dinner or something.

The beginnings of a sunrise peered through the curtains as he settled into bed, arms wrapping around Natasha instantly, breathing her in. Two weeks felt like forever, like literal hell. He's been gone for more than that before but this time just felt a little different. Maybe it was the fact that they'd almost gotten him this time that made it feel strange. Maybe it was because, for a quick second during the crossfire, he feared that they were going to take him and wipe his memories of her again. He was never going to let it happen but it still felt like a big possibility.

He nuzzled against Natasha's hair and closed his eyes. She shifted in his arms, pressing herself against him and draping her arm over his.

"Welcome home, James," she whispered. She would later yell about the bullets and the broken nose (all while examining every inch of him with soft fingers and even softer kisses) but it didn't matter much to Bucky. When he was with her, he was home—safe. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should write more of them during missions but I hate writing fight scenes (but we'll see!!!).


End file.
